This is Why Jamie Garrett Doesn’t Like to Eat Around Co-Workers

People think I'm being a jerk.  People think I ignore parties at work.  Today at work, we had a going-away party for MiMi, one of our co-workers.  I was left with two choices... be a jerk, or take a risk and attend.  

I'll let you guess.  As you can see by the stain on the Texas Rangers shirt I was wearing for casual Friday, the lasagna ended up where it usually does, all over me.  It's an ongoing joke at home for my wife and kids.  They know daddy spills stuff.  In addition to staining (and probably ruining) my Rangers shirt, I dropped, spilled & broke my wife's squash casserole in our big casserole dish.  I'm a train wreck.  I even wear towels as bibs when I'm eating a messy dish.

Several years (and many shirts lost to stains) ago I decided to stop eating in a work setting.  Whether it's the company Christmas party, a live broadcast, or just a going-away lunch, I avoid potential embarrassment by just staying busy and turning down any offers of food.  Sure, I'll sometimes come back afterward and have a bite, but never while there are people around.

Today Big Q got on to me about not showing up for functions such as the party scheduled for today.  He even brought up the one time they threw me a birthday party at work and I didn't even show up.  Now, technically, I had taken the day off, and I was in the middle of the lake on my kayak when they called.  Still, it came off differently.  My thanks to the people that put that together.  I feel bad about it to this day.  Knowing my history, I knew I had to show up.

I tried to play it cool, coming in and just grabbing a spare chair and checking my phone well away from the feeding masses.  Then came the questions... "Aren't you going to eat? There's plenty".  I couldn't say I was on a diet (they'd know for sure that's a lie), and being that there were four pans of lasagna left, I had to dig in.  As I finished up a tasty piece of lasagna and a piece of garlic bread, I saw it... a mystery stain on my shirt.  I couldn't even find a fallen piece that would prove something hit it.  It must have been setting the plate on the bottom of my shirt as I sat in my chair.

WHO CARES!!!???!!!???  It's just another lost shirt.  It's not the first.  I certainly won't be the last.  I had to do what I always do when something like this happens...  I scrambled.  We have an entire room filled with new & old station/event t-shirts.  I scoured for my size.  Unfortunately, my size is also the size that usually runs out first.  I searched through station stockpile after station stockpile with no success.

About to give up, I pulled out a balled-up shirt alone by itself in the bottom of the file cabinet drawer.  Success!!  My size!!  It's a Bloomin' Temple shirt from 2012.  It'll do.  So far nobody has asked me why I changed shirts.  I'm pretty sure that will end if any of them read the stories on the website!!